[Part 1 of 2] 8 Insights I discovered trying to be myself
Updated: Apr 7
Who am I?
Why am I here?
Why is it so hard?
What does it all mean?
Am I called to do this?
Because I'm not sure anyone chooses this $&%£ing path!
There's this dance that plays out between the two parts of us:
the angelic self (the heart's music)
and the animal self. (the head, the ego)
No doubt, you are well familiar with that dance.
For some of us, (not all but certainly some) that dance between head and heart is a million miles away from anything you'd see on BGT. (Britain's Got Talent).
My dance would have been more on par with my rhino self being matched up with a tree. A tree planted high up in the Rocky Mountains;
It felt absurd.
The impossibility of it made it feel so much more absurd.
I would also add that my Rhino had rabies, was blind in one eye, was terrified of heights and snow and it had a freight train in hot pursuit of it always.
That's what my dance felt like for decades.
That dance made me say the words like:
"I know what I should do, but I just can't do it"
Or another way of saying it is; the passive aggressive (yet totally unconscious) patterns, unhealthy habits, and repeating set backs were killing me; I had to shift them or quite frankly, I wanted to check out.
I persisted with my absurd dance and 20 years later I can look back and hand pick the things I know now, that would have been lovely to have stumbled into age 20-ish.
We shall start with the End-in-Mind applied across the Wheel of Life:
If we begin with the end in mind; then we get to talk about ideal outcomes for our self to experience and participate in, across each area of life.
[SIDE BAR] For the purpose of this conversation, I'm choosing to use the Wheel of Life from Dr. Demartini's teachings. I'm a long-time student of Dr. Demartini - so I'm pulling his version vs. the hundreds out there.
Right... moving on.
You could draw it:
If you were to re-draw this wee diagram in your notebook and inside each section allocate a mark out of 10 to represent your degree of satisfaction today, you could probably work your way around the wheel and allocate numbers from 0 to 10 easily enough.
I'm trusting that you know where you're satisfied and where you're miserable in life. o_0
You could colour it in:
If you were to colour in each of the 7 sections up to the dots that number 10 in that diagram above - your diagram would have a shade up to the first dot for scores of 1 out of 10 satisfied, and shade sections up to the 10th dot for scores of 10 out of 10 satisfied. After shading in all sections you'd have a 50ft view of your Satisfied meter.
And... what? So what?
I have yet another way to reframe my degree of... misery?
Maybe I can prioritise the lowest numbered section on my coloured-in wheel to tackle that area of life with more forced action, that needs me to psyche myself up, or rely on some external motivation in order to do the work that shifts the shit.
And when that external motivation (eventually) falls away a few days later, I will be:
Reading another self-help book
Attending another workshop
Buying into another seminar
Frustrated because I should, could, would, bleurgh.
And when that didn't work, I upped sticks and moved to the Middle East and wandered the desert for 2 years and hung out with some Sufis and Bedouins. #TrueStory
Shannon Eastman, Growth Consultant
The Shannon Eastman Show
Shannon Eastman is a growth consultant, human behaviour expert, communications adviser, management consultant, mentor and business coach. Shannon is the Host of The Shannon Eastman Show, Founder of Funds Ireland MiniCon and an Advisor to starts ups in the Middle East.